The Embrace of Pain

thejanussentinel:

painsembrace:

-Crucius smiles and briefly laughs- Truth enlightens you!

Yes Janus, fight, make those whom harmed you suffer tenfold. Bring death to those that deserve to die. Embrace you hate, your rage, pain, suffering…but most importantly your love. The love for your crew, my love for my family will never die. The galaxy deserves to burn for denying us what we loved. It will feel our pain. Let that pain drive you, never let it go numb, do not release your anger, do not let weakness fill you, do not stop until all responsible and all who would contniue to cause such suffering are gone.

-Crucius extends a hand towards the A.I-

Assist me in my struggle, to rid my galaxy of the Jedi, to bring down this Senate. Aid me in seeing this galaxy ruled by those unafraid to act in defense of its people, unafraid to respond to threat with unstoppable force. Join me, and the Sith, and we will see to it that the murderers of your crew of your galaxy expierences the same freedom that we shall create here.

The android stared at the hand extended to him, internally calculating the weight of the man’s words against what he knew to be true.

He didn’t know much about the society of this galaxy, but from what he’d seen it appeared that the Zabrak’s words were true.  The Jedi repressed emotion and love, he knew this through Qui-Gon.  Speaking of Qui-Gon, though, what would he say if he found out that Janus was affiliating with what he now knew to be the Sith?  An organization that so openly hated everything his Padawan friend was a part of?

He decided that it would be best if Qui-Gon didn’t know.

“I will…give it a shot,” he said finally, grasping the other man’s hand in his own.  ”But that is all I can say.  Time will tell if this is what I am meant for.  If it isn’t, I reserve the right to leave.”

-Crucius holds the A.I.’s hand firmly, almost crushingly so, where the can not made of metal. He stares unblinking to Janus eyes.-

You hold doubt in your mind yet? Very well, see for your own eyes the Jedi. Expierence them, befriend them, let them betray you. Let them abandon you when you need them most. But I, the Sith, we will always be their for you. In fact, it might work to our advantage for you to get close with the Jedi. They know not of this meeting, and you can provide information back to us. It would be foolish to openly attack now, no, plans are being made and the proper time to stike will soon be at hand. I will be in contact in the future Janus, think well on what I have said, think well of your crew’s murderers dying at your hands.

painsembrace:

Ah, and that is the fallacy of peace isn’t it? How is “peace” created but through violence and death and forcing the other side to submit to your ideals of what is right for the galaxy? Peace is nothing but a truce, a pause in the battle for bureaucrats to squabble amongst…

-Crucius smiles and briefly laughs- Truth enlightens you!

Yes Janus, fight, make those whom harmed you suffer tenfold. Bring death to those that deserve to die. Embrace you hate, your rage, pain, suffering…but most importantly your love. The love for your crew, my love for my family will never die. The galaxy deserves to burn for denying us what we loved. It will feel our pain. Let that pain drive you, never let it go numb, do not release your anger, do not let weakness fill you, do not stop until all responsible and all who would contniue to cause such suffering are gone.

-Crucius extends a hand towards the A.I-

Assist me in my struggle, to rid my galaxy of the Jedi, to bring down this Senate. Aid me in seeing this galaxy ruled by those unafraid to act in defense of its people, unafraid to respond to threat with unstoppable force. Join me, and the Sith, and we will see to it that the murderers of your crew of your galaxy expierences the same freedom that we shall create here.

painsembrace started following you [FLASHBACK]

thejanussentinel:

painsembrace:

Once a time long ago I was a Jedi, I foolishly believed their order would provide me the strength and training to protect my family, my village, my home. I believed their lies of peace and serenity, but their distaste for emotions never sat well. They believed I needed to act for the good of all, that holding attachments such as love were a weakness that clouded judgement. They wished to break me of my attachment to my family. I was allowed no contact with them, for four years I trained under the Jedi’s rule, four years I obeyed their commands, was the ideal of the Jedi, until word of my planet finally reached my ears. Word, that my beloved Iridonia, was under seige by slavers, and more specifically the region in which my villiage resided. I ignored the warnings of my elders, I flew to my people with the greatest speed, and what I found, was not glory for my people no, what I found, was that the news reached me a week late.

I found my villliage smoldering ruins. I found my wife and son’s charred corpses, my only joy was that they died bravely resisting the slavers. I was devestated, I felt betrayed, that the Jedi would deny me the chance to save my people, that they would keep such information from me, that they would hate love so much. Then I found the two Jedi that failed to save my people. They were hurt, wounded by the slavers, and I promise you Janus, when I was finished with them, they would have wished to been killed by the slavers. I swore war upon the Jedi that day, war upon all who would deny a man the right to protect his family, war upon those cowards afraid to embrace their emotions, their love. I will rid the galaxy of their apathy.

And you Janus, are you brave enough to rid the galaxy of the people that harmed you? To bring war to those who would deny your safety? Do not stay your vengeance for the lie of peace. Their is never peace, only the eternal struggle to rid the galaxy of those that harm what you cherish most.

“But I was made to bring peace!” Janus burst out, whirling to face the other man.  ”The goal of the Alliance of Suns was to bring peace to our galaxy!”  His eyes stung with salt water from artificial tear ducts.

Still, the man’s story resonated with him and his advice more so.  Even when the Alliance had been functioning, Janus had noticed the uneasy tension between organics sometimes.  They operated under a flag of peace and unity, but within there was apprehension and mistrust.  

Perhaps that was the true fall of the commonwealth.

The revelation blindsided him, ripping a strangled sound of frenzied confusion from his throat.  So many ideas were conflicting within him; he felt like he would overload with the stress.  Even his machine logic, his usual fall-back strategy in times of confusion, was of little help.

“I was made…to bring them peace,” he repeated.  HIs voice sounded hollow and small.  He wasn’t sure what to believe anymore.

Ah, and that is the fallacy of peace isn’t it? How is “peace” created but through violence and death and forcing the other side to submit to your ideals of what is right for the galaxy? Peace is nothing but a truce, a pause in the battle for bureaucrats to squabble amongst themselves and get fat on money until they have enough to play another game with the lives of those whom they supposedly ‘serve” And the Jedi, oh, they are the favorite piece in the game for our Senate. I learned from those Jedi’s tortured screams, that they waited three days for approval to act while my people suffered.

You are a potent weapon Janus, you have the fire power to bring much ruin upon your enemies. But your emotions, your feelings, these are you most power asset. These are your truths, and no logic is greater then what your emotion drives you to do. So tell me Janus, how do you feel?

painsembrace started following you [FLASHBACK]

thejanussentinel:

painsembrace:

thejanussentinel:

“Don’t strike me again, sir.” Janus’ voice was crystallizing with ice as he said it.  ”I may not know how artificial-organic relationships work in your galaxy, but where I come from, we are not ‘whipped’ into emotionless slaves.  We are sentient beings with as much of a right to emotion as anyone. And as for the murderer…”  He tilted his head downward slightly; when he looked up to meet the Zabrak’s eyes, his face was chiseled hardness, pale as ghosts and dark with the memories of ghosts.  

“I was their murderer.”

His voice was monotone, hard-edged with the metallic ring of synthesized audio.  ”My life support failed on our last mission together.  By the time I was able to reach port, they were already dead.  I watched from every camera lens, every monitor, every inch of every corner of this vessel as hundreds of people—my friends, my family—asphyxiated to death.”

He blinked once.  Again, for good measure.

“I grieved for each and every one of them.  I still grieve.  So do not tell me that AIs are not capable of knowing loss.  For I know loss, friendship, trust, anger, and above all, guilt.”

My apology for striking you, my temper can get the better of me, for you see, I am angry, always angry.  It is a pity you cannot harness the Force, for the Dark Side would flow strong within you. But understand that you are not the reason your crew died. Blame not yourself, but those truly at fault, blame those that fired upon your ship, that destroyed your life support. Blame those that made you watch helplessly as your beloved familyasphyxiated and froze before your eyes. That too is my pain Janus, that too is what drives me, and gives me power to crush those that bring pain to the ones I loved.

-Crucius stops for a moment, a moment of gentleness crosses is eyes, the formation of a tear is blinked away and his eyes blaze once more with Sith fury-

Do you wish to hear exactly what the jedi did to me?

Janus had turned away as the Zabrak spoke, none of his emotions processing properly in his confusion.  

He had considered that before, of course.  He’d tried to push the blame onto the Insurrectionist ships that had crippled him.  But the truth was hard-wired into him.  The enemy ships had only shot him, it was his weakness that prevented him from holding the life support together until they had reached Methis-Ba safely.  No matter which road his mind traveled down, they all ended with him being the culprit.

He remained silent.  The Zabrak would speak anyway, he knew, and he couldn’t trust himself in his jumbled state to not say something foolish.

Once a time long ago I was a Jedi, I foolishly believed their order would provide me the strength and training to protect my family, my village, my home. I believed their lies of peace and serenity, but their distaste for emotions never sat well. They believed I needed to act for the good of all, that holding attachments such as love were a weakness that clouded judgement. They wished to break me of my attachment to my family. I was allowed no contact with them, for four years I trained under the Jedi’s rule, four years I obeyed their commands, was the ideal of the Jedi, until word of my planet finally reached my ears. Word, that my beloved Iridonia, was under seige by slavers, and more specifically the region in which my villiage resided. I ignored the warnings of my elders, I flew to my people with the greatest speed, and what I found, was not glory for my people no, what I found, was that the news reached me a week late.

I found my villliage smoldering ruins. I found my wife and son’s charred corpses, my only joy was that they died bravely resisting the slavers. I was devestated, I felt betrayed, that the Jedi would deny me the chance to save my people, that they would keep such information from me, that they would hate love so much. Then I found the two Jedi that failed to save my people. They were hurt, wounded by the slavers, and I promise you Janus, when I was finished with them, they would have wished to been killed by the slavers. I swore war upon the Jedi that day, war upon all who would deny a man the right to protect his family, war upon those cowards afraid to embrace their emotions, their love. I will rid the galaxy of their apathy.

And you Janus, are you brave enough to rid the galaxy of the people that harmed you? To bring war to those who would deny your safety? Do not stay your vengeance for the lie of peace. Their is never peace, only the eternal struggle to rid the galaxy of those that harm what you cherish most.

painsembrace started following you

thejanussentinel:

painsembrace:

thejanussentinel:

painsembrace:

thejanussentinel:

painsembrace:

thejanussentinel:

Janus could practically feel the ship pulsing with life.  His life.  This was the only home he’d ever known, and the feel of the familiar smooth floors under his feet made him smile.  ”Of course, I’ll show you around.  Right this way.”

A hologram materialized in front of them, manifested by hidden projectors in the walls. It was Janus, but a cleaner-cut version.  His hair was shorter and slicked back, and his clothes were military and austere.  The hologram regarded Janus’ companion coldly.  ”You.  State your name and classification.”

Janus rolled his eyes.  ”Relax, he’s with me.”

Hologram-Janus raised his eyebrows. “Have you forgotten the last time someone boarded us?  It would be illogical to invite the same to happen here.”

“Which is why it won’t.”

The hologram crossed his arms with a disapproving glare and fizzled out, leaving Janus and the Zabrak alone in the corridors.  Janus gestured for the man to follow him as he walked, hands folded behind his back and shoulders straight.  ”I’m right, you know.  I should at least know your name.  I didn’t think to ask it when we were back on the planet.”


Ahh, my name. Such a simple question…but not so simple for me to answer. I haven’t gone by my birth name in a very long time. Not since my family was…tell me Janus, in your time in this galaxy, what have you been told of the Jedi? -the zabrak makes a slight indication to continue moving as they talk-

Janus nodded his head, continuing on.  His voice took on an almost recited tone as he shared his knowledge.  ”Founded in 25,783 BBY on the planet Tython, the Jedi Order is an organization of monastic peacekeepers with ability to access the light side of a spiritual phenomena known as the Force.  They are led by the Jedi Council, an assembling of twelve high-ranking Jedi Masters, who preside over the Order’s decision-making process from the Council Chambers in the Jedi Temple of Corsucant.”

Stopping in front of the mess hall, he turned to the Zabrak.  ”Are you a Jedi, sir?”

No, I am something more then the Jedi can hope to achieve. I’m willing to bet your encyclopedic data recall makes claims that the Jedi are peacekeepers, and protectors of the innocent? I’m also willing to bet it fails to mention they are slaves to the senate bureaucracy and cowards afraid to embrace the full potential of the flame of the Force they fearfully poke at. The Jedi are pathetic, misguided fools. They will preach to you morality, and hold you back as your family burns. But what might a ship know of family? Certainly a ship has no emotional atachements, no crew they ever held dear, or perhaps, just maybe your circuits can devlop emotions. Would a ship understand being forced to know everything that mattered to you was dying and you were helpless to do anything about it? That is what the Jedi forced upon me.

Janus stiffened as the man spoke, the jerky sound of servos under his skin barely audible.  These words were hitting too close to home for comfort.  He felt the urge to strike out at the visitor for claiming he was incapable of grief, but the sudden sorrow that struck him quickly rained on that parade.

“If you truly think me incapable of knowing the sorrow of losing my crew and captain, sir, then you know as little of me as I apparently know of the Jedi,” he managed instead, holding back tears sprung from artificial ducts.

But the Zabrak couldn’t be right.  The few Jedi he’d met so far had been kind to him.  He considered them friends, or at least acquaintances well on the way to becoming friends.   His sensors frantically hunted for any search of lies in the other man’s words, but it appeared he was telling the truth, or at least believed he was.


It is rare, but not unheard of, for mechanical intelligence to develop emotions, usually they are whipped before such attachment can set in. But that expected emotionlessness is exactly what the Jedi seek to turn people into. They are afraid of passion, they frown upon love. They blunt the weapon of anger…and I can feel your anger Janus.-Crucius’ orange-yellow eyes gleam with the Dark Side- You are angry at the loss of your crew, you would want to see the murderers suffer a painful fate, wouldn’t you? I wish the same upon the murderers of my family, and the Jedi, the Jedi held me back as my people fell. I didn’t even have the oppertunity to attempt to save them. -Crucius slams his fist into a wall, a sizable dent is left behind-

“Don’t strike me again, sir.” Janus’ voice was crystallizing with ice as he said it.  ”I may not know how artificial-organic relationships work in your galaxy, but where I come from, we are not ‘whipped’ into emotionless slaves.  We are sentient beings with as much of a right to emotion as anyone. And as for the murderer…”  He tilted his head downward slightly; when he looked up to meet the Zabrak’s eyes, his face was chiseled hardness, pale as ghosts and dark with the memories of ghosts.  

“I was their murderer.”

His voice was monotone, hard-edged with the metallic ring of synthesized audio.  ”My life support failed on our last mission together.  By the time I was able to reach port, they were already dead.  I watched from every camera lens, every monitor, every inch of every corner of this vessel as hundreds of people—my friends, my family—asphyxiated to death.”

He blinked once.  Again, for good measure.

“I grieved for each and every one of them.  I still grieve.  So do not tell me that AIs are not capable of knowing loss.  For I know loss, friendship, trust, anger, and above all, guilt.”

My appology for striking you, my temper can get the better of me, for you see, I am angry, always angry.  It is a pity you cannot harness the Force, for the Dark Side would flow strong within you. But understand that you are not the reason yur crew died. Blame not yourself, but those truly at fault, blame those that fired upon your ship, that destroyed your life support. Blame those that made you watch helplessly as your beloved familyasphyxiated and froze before your eyes. That too is my pain Janus, that too is what drives me, and gives me power to crush those that bring pain to the ones I loved.

-Crucius stops for a moment, a moment of gentleness crosses is eyes, the formation of a tear is blinked away and his eyes blaze once more with Sith fury-

Do you wish to hear exactly what the jedi did to me?

fastshipsandfasterwomen:

painsembrace:

Just a guy with a whole lot of shit that goes boom: painsembrace: Oh its just your age old case of pest removal. Nothing…

painsembrace:

Oh its just your age old case of pest removal. Nothing you haven’t dealt with before, and your prize if you should win, well who could say no to the riches I offered? Especially if you’re a bit down on your luck. But, lets start shall we -casually tosses 200 hundred creds to…


Mhmm Amusing offer, but not the one I’m looking for.. my hand is set, is yours?

That’s about close to what your bet was.  *raises eyebrow* Come on, friend.  If you’ve heard of me you know I’ll only accept what I’m worth.  *nods* I’m ready.


Oh yes indeed, how foolish to think you’d work for such a low price -sips from the wine- ah, the Ithorian’s really do know their wine, even to this day. -places 500 worth of credits on the table- now, dearest friend, what does that raise the offer to? Can you match that so easily? best decide before your value shifts.

painsembrace:

Oh its just your age old case of pest removal. Nothing you haven’t dealt with before, and your prize if you should win, well who could say no to the riches I offered? Especially if you’re a bit down on your luck. But, lets start shall we -casually tosses 200 hundred creds to…


Mhmm Amusing offer, but not the one I’m looking for.. my hand is set, is yours?

painsembrace:

fastshipsandfasterwomen:

painsembrace:

Oh no, I wouldn’t say you do. Perhaps I’ve heard of you and your particular talents though. Mhmm, I wonder, now..I never play cards merely for “fun” why that isn’t very fun at all. What might a man such as yourself have to…


Oh its just your age old case of pest removal. Nothing you haven’t delt with before, and your prize if you should win, well who could say no to the riches I offered? Especially if you’re a bit down on your luck. But, lets start shall we -casually tosses 200 hundered creds to the pot-, ante a job worth that amount sir?

fastshipsandfasterwomen:

painsembrace:

Oh no, I wouldn’t say you do. Perhaps I’ve heard of you and your particular talents though. Mhmm, I wonder, now..I never play cards merely for “fun” why that isn’t very fun at all. What might a man such as yourself have to ante?

*shrugs, shaking his head* Not a whole lot, really.  Couple’a credits.  I only got about 65 or so on me.  What about you, what’s your game?


Oh credit’s aren’t of very much concern to me -flashes several hundered doller credit chips between his bony fingers before flipping them back, like a street magician, to the sabbac deck he was shuffling. I’m much more interested in your talents. Oh, why dont I just pay you these credits -produces them briefly again- well thats just not much fun again is it. But you know, if you win, I can promise something worth much more then these credits are worth. -deals a hand to Tal- its your move, ready to play?

painsembrace:

Just a guy with a whole lot of shit that goes boom: Nightlife

fastshipsandfasterwomen:

Tal wandered into the lively club, past the bouncers and weaving his way up to the bar. The heavy bass of the music seemed to pound through him but he didn’t mind; he’d heard and…


Oh no, I wouldn’t say you do. Perhaps I’ve heard of you and your particular talents though. Mhmm, I wonder, now..I never play cards merely for “fun” why that isn’t very fun at all. What might a man such as yourself have to ante?